妖怪都市 WIZARD'S CURSE
林師傅，據線報說他們就在房子裏 Master Lam, according to the information, they are here.
牛頭骨是降頭術的標識 The skull of ox is the symbol of sorcery.
他們果然有兩下子 They are really something.
每一次查到他們的下落，把他們四面包圍 Whenever we check their location & surround them.
還是被他們輕易逃脫 They can still escape easily!
我早就懷疑他們會隱身術 So I suspect that they know sorcery.
好，你們行動吧 Take action.
有人！ Somebody is coming!
來！ Come on!
快點！追啊！ Hurru up! Chase them!
有白腳印！ White foot mark!
跟著腳印追啊！ Follow the foot mark!
是 Yes.
第二小隊，截擊白腳印 2nd unit! Block the foot marks.
是 Yes.
一定是有懂道術的人在作怪 There must be someone who knows magic around.
現在怎麽辦？ What'll we do?
自首啦 Surrender!
種善因得善果 You'll get what you've done.
你們滿身殺孽，如果不投降自首 You are evil, if you don't surrender.
你們必無善果 You'll deserve it!
臭道士，你去吃屎！ Bastard! Go & eat shit!
我活生生的吃屎，沒有關系 I don't mind eating shit alive.
只怕你們到了地獄連屎都沒得吃 But when you go to jail, you can't eat even shit!
乃密金莎，你們不投降的話只有死路一條 You'll die if you don't surrender.
林師傅 Master Lam.
拿新子彈來！ Take me the new bullets!
黑狗血？！ The blood of black dog?
他們的法力已經破了，開槍吧 Their scocery is over, fire now.
上 Go!
先不要過去！ Don't go!
什麽事啊？ What's the matter?
降頭師在臨死之前， When a sorcerer is going to die,
一定會對他的仇人發出一生最厲害的毒咒 He'll make the bad curse he can.
你聽誰說的？ Who say so?
我猜的！ I guess!
好了，沒事了！ Ok, it'll be fine.
擡他們走！ Take them away!
林師傅，這次真的謝謝你來幫我們泰國警方的忙 I've to thank you for your help.
要不然我真的不知道怎麽去抓那兩個雌雄降頭大盜 Or, I can't arrest those notorious thieves.
爲民除害，理所當然得嘛 It's our duty to beat crimes.
你送給我這些鳄魚肉 What the crocodile meat you've given me.
回去給病人治氣喘最好了 Is beat for curing asthma.
不成敬意了！對了，回去香港以後 Don't mention it!When you are back to HK.
替我問候大嫂 Send my regard to your wife.
我跟那老太婆已經分開好幾年了 We departed!
對不起！ Sorry!
不過我女兒跟我，已經很大了 But my daughter lives with me.
現在在當見習醫生 She is a probationary doctor now.
真的，那恭喜你了 Really? Congratulations!
特別新聞報道：昨晚警方緝捕的重犯乃密金莎 Special news report: La Mit & Kim Sha, the criminals wanted.
屍體無故失蹤，懷疑被人偷走 Their corpses are stolen.
警方正在追查… Now this is uder investgation.
什麽事啊？ What's the matter?
新聞報道說，乃密跟金莎 News said that, te corpses of La Mit & Kim Sha
他們兩個人的屍體在停屍間被人偷走 were stolen.
要不要我留下來？ Should I stay behind?
不會有事的，人都已經死掉了！ It'll be OK, they are dead!
對了，你的飝機快起飝了，開快點！ Yeah, drive faster! He'd hurry to the airport.
師傅，時辰到了 Master, time's up.
把九十九個淫男的精液 Add in the sperm of 99 satyrs.
跟九十九個淫婦的經血一起倒下去 And the blood collected from 99 bitches' period.
是，師傅 Yes.
師傅，究竟[陰陽屍]是什麽？ Master, what is Terrific Vampire?
是天下間至淫至毒的妖怪 This is the most powerful monster.
是降頭術之中最高的境界 This is te top sorcery in our field.
爲什麽？ Why?
這個[陰陽屍]不但可以變男，也可以變女 This can change its sex automatically.
刀槍劍戟都傷不了他 No weapons can hurt it.
力大無窮，不怕陽光，不怕火燒 It's strong, not afraid of sun & fire.
而且是人鬼神三界之外的妖怪 This is the most suprrior monster.
連神佛對他都不能發生作用 God can do nothing to it.
他以人的腦汁作爲養料 It eats man's brain.
每吸一個人的腦汁，或者是跟人做性交 Once it eats a brain or makes loves with people.
就可以得到他一切的知識和本領 It can gain the object's knowledge & power.
對了師傅，那我們還練什麽？ Why'd we make this?
練一個[陰陽屍]是一個降頭師一生的夢想 It's a wish of any sorcerer!
他如果聽我的話 If it listens to me.
我就是世界上最有權力的人 I'd be the most powerful man.
爲什麽這麽難練？ Why it's so difficult to make one?
一定要有一對深深相愛的男女？ We'd find a pair of lovers.
他們的心腸一定要很毒辣 They must be hard-hearted & cruel.
而且在同時間一起死 They'd die in the same time.
在死之前，內心裏還有一股怨氣 Before they die, there'd be hatred.
最困難的就是 The most difficult thing is,
要他們本身一定是降頭師才行 They'd be sorcerers!
哪一個降頭師死了肯給別人練的？ No sorcerer'd like to be used after dead.
那大師兄，還有二師姐是最理想的人選 So they are the most suitable pair.
一個鍾頭之後，[陰陽屍]就會破繭 After an hour, the Terrific Vampire'll come out.
他要出世了，過來幫忙 It'll soon come out
對不起，我忘了告訴你 Sorry, I forget to tell you.
在他出世之後 Once it comes out
要吃兩個有道行的男女的腦汁作爲他的第一餐 It'll eat 2 brains from sorcerers.
如果七天之內能吃到一個十靈時出世少女的腦汁 If winthin 7 days, it can eat a girl's brain who was born at spiritual hour.
他的魔法就更加無邊 It's power will be enormous.
以後九天十地，諸魔諸神 Not even a god or evil spirit.
都不可以制服他！ Can defeat it!
師傅 Master!
金莎，怎麽只得你一個？ Kim Sha, why you come alone?
你應該是陰陽同體的！ You'd share the same body with La Mit!
我不知道！ I don't know!
乃密呢？ Where is La Mit?
到底發生了什麽事？ What's happened?
難道我的練法出了錯？ Does the recipe go wrong?
你沒練錯！ No.
你錯的，是根本不應該練我們出來 You'd not have made us!
我們每吸一個人的腦汁，就能擁有他的思想 We eat one's brain, we'll have his thought.
你的男弟子向來恨你，很想殺你 Your students hated you, & wanted to kill you.
現在我也擁有這種殺你的思想 Now I own his thought
我們一定要去找一個十靈時出世的女孩子 We'd find a girl who was born at spiritual hour.
吸了她的腦汁，那麽我們就是魔中之魔了 Eat her brain, & we'll be invincible!
喝杯咖啡 Have a cup of coffee
好！ Thanks.
小心點嘛！ Be careful!
這幾天我老是眼皮會跳 I feel somthing bad recently!
我過幾天就要升級了，你眼皮還跳 I 'll be promoted few days later, why you have something bad
你也知道那些降頭師 You konw, those sorcerers.
他們是有仇必報的 They'll take revenge
你放心了！我師父在這裏安了神位 Don't worry! My master sets a buddha here.
你要是心裏不舒服的話，就去拜一拜 If you don't feel easy, go & worship it.
老婆… Honey...
你好嗎？你這個吃屎狗！ How are you? Dog!
你們不是已經死掉了嗎？ Aren't you dead?
爸！ Dad!
女兒你快走！ Go!
快走！ Go!
救命呀！救命呀！Help ah! Help ah!
你放手！你這個妖怪，我跟你拼了！ Hands off! You monster! I'll kill you.
香港 Hong Kong
醫生，你想痛死人呀？ Doctor, I feel great pain!
你這麽吵，小心護士罵你！ Don't be that noisy! Beware scolded by the nurse!
罵什麽？我是刑警呀！罵！ What? I'm a police!
你哪裏不對勁呀？ What's wrong with you?
關你屁事呀？ None of your business!
聽說你抓賊的時候被人家踢到老二，是不是？ Did you hurt your dick when taken action?
你去睡你的覺吧！ Go to sleep! You bastard!
我精神好得很，我才不用睡覺哩 I don't need any sleep now.
你是不是想挨打呀你？ Do you want me to beat you?
怎麽樣？刑警有什麽了不起？ Police is no big deal!
你有種過來，你敢打我嗎？ Come over if you've guts!
你這個王八旦你跟我閉嘴！ You bastard! Shut up!
我才不怕你，你過來！ I won't care you, come over here.
怎麽樣？ So what?
你們吵夠了沒有 Stop shouting!
管你什麽事？ None of your business!
我睡覺了 I'm going to sleep!
你不要說你是醫生 Don't tell me you are a doctor.
我是醫生 Yes.
你不要說你是來幫我檢查的 Don't tell me you aregoing to check me up.
我是要幫你檢查 Sure!
你不要我脫褲子嘛？ Don't you want me to take off my pants?
自己脫呀！還是要護士幫你脫？ Youcan do it ourself or ask a nurse to help you.
小姐，我這個受傷的地方很尴尬的 Miss, I hurt my dick, it's embarrassing!
拜托你換個男的來好不好？ Please ask a male doctor to help.
其他的醫生都在忙 The other doctors are busy
你可以拒絕要我幫你檢查 You can refuse my inspection.
可是要等好幾個小時啊！ But you'll wait few more hours.
脫就脫吧！ OK!
放輕松點 Be relax!
沒什麽嘛，只是有點腫 It's fine, just swell a little bit.
擦點藥膏，休息幾天就沒事了 Put some cream on & take a few days rest.
什麽沒事呀？有沒有搞錯？ What? Are you kidding?
我跳了快半個鍾頭差點把那兩個跳出來 It really hurt!
現在還在痛的！什麽沒事？ I feel painful!
真的沒事嘛 It's OK!
小姐，我還要生個兒子的！ Miss, I've have a son.
你的器官除了必須割包皮之外 You's is OK, but just need a cut.
完全沒有其他的問題 Everything is fine.
除非是心理問題，像自卑感啦 Except for psychiatric problem.
我爲什麽要自卑呀？三八！ Why do I have psychiatric problem?
給他擦藥 Give him the cream.
不用這麽多，他的藥用一半就夠了 Don't use that much, just half of it will do.
知道了 Got it!
不用你擦！我自己來！ I'll do it myelf.
看什麽？你以爲你自己的大？ Don't you think yours is bigger?
你擦得完嗎？ Can you use it up?
好…我不跟你爭！ OK,I won't argue with you.
你的大，可以了吧？ Yours is bigger, OK?
對不起，我找林小婷醫生 Sorry, may I see Dr. Lam Siu Ting?
我沒有空，你自己找 I'm not free, look for yourself
小姐 Miss.
我找林小婷醫生 I'm looking for Dr. Lam Siu Ting.
他正在忙，你先坐一下 She is busy, just wait a while.
可是我有… But I...
爸，你又來做什麽？ Dad, what are you doing here?
我炖了湯給你喝 I send you soup.
我哪有時間？ But I've no time to drink it.
你們去忙吧 Go & work.
來…過來 Come here.
來呀！ Come on!
你拖我出來幹什麽嘛？ Why you take me here?
過來呀！ Come over here!
我不過是煮個湯給你喝嘛 I just take you the soup.
爸，我只不過是個實習醫生 I am a probationary doctor!
我不是大醫生呀 I'm under training!
放心！晚上我給你開個壇，改改運 Don't worry. I'll do you something to change your luck.
你很快就會當大醫生了 So you'll become a famous doctor soon.
爸，做西醫是有規矩的 Dad,we've to follow regulation!
你以爲是跟你一樣跟人家把把脈 Don't you think it's ancient time?
西醫就了不起啊 So what!
你今天過生氣，我炖了湯，你喝一點 Today is your birthday, you'd take some soup.
記住，晚上回家拜祖先 Rember, come home & worship the ancestors.
Hi Hi
老伯，現在不是探病時間 Uncle, it's not time for visit!
這是我爸 He is my dad.
伯父，你好！ How are you?
爸！ Dad!
你今天很晚才起床 You get up late this morning.
是啊 Yes!
早餐吃稀飯？ You ate congee as breakfast.
你怎麽知道？ How you know that?
昨天晚上泡馬子了？ You courted girls last night?
不是…你怎麽會說這種話的？ Why do you say so?
我是修道之人 I'm a taoist!
伯父真愛說笑 Uncle,you must be kidding!
我從來不說笑的 I never tell jokes.
我還有個病人，我趕去看看 I've to work now.
不好意思 Sorry.
一會兒見 See you later.
爸，你幹什麽嘛？ Dad, what are you doing?
回來！ Come back!
你看，他衣服上有稀飯 Look, there is congee on your clothes.
嘴角有牙膏，頭發也沒有梳好 You've tooth paste near your mouth, your hair isn/t well combed.
很明顯在匆匆忙忙的趕來上班 Syre you are rushing to hospital.
眼圈這麽黑，明顯昨天晚上一定泡妞去了 You've black eyes, so you'd have fooled around last night.
這種事情毫無科學根據的嘛 But it's not scientific!
爸！ Dad!
Julian，不好意思，你去工作吧 Sorry, Julian, go to work.
他泡你呀？ Isn't he courting you?
不是！只是普通朋友！ No! We're just common friends.
我看他的面相 I can tell from his face.
兩眼水汪汪，鼻大沒端莊 His eyes are watery, ugly nose.
真是個大騙子！ He'd be a liar.
你憑什麽這麽說人家？ What made you say so?
憑我一雙慧眼！ My intelligent eyes.
爸，你不要灌輸那些迷信的思想給我 Don't teach me those superstitious thing.
你知道我一向都不相信這些的！ You konw I won't understand these fortune telling!
丫頭！你今天過生日 Today is your birthday.
來，把湯喝了！ Come on, drink all these.
好了，我去工作了，拜拜 OK, I'll go to work.
記住！下班回家拜祖先！ Come home earlier to worship the ancestors.
女兒呀！出來拜祭祖先啦！ Daughter, come out to worship!
在幹什麽？ What are you doing?
女兒，出來拜祖先啦 Come out & send your regard.
爸，我在整理明天上課的資料 I'm doing my home work.
好了，不准看，先拜祖先，來 Stop it, come out & worship.
爸！你明知道念書的時候，我已經受洗過 You know, dad.
我是天主教徒，是不能夠崇拜偶像的！ I'm a catholic! I can't do that!
你老爸我，就是靠這些偶像把你養大 You dad raised you up by worshipping!
你那個天主有沒有給過你奶粉吃？ Has your God given you any milk powder?
你這樣說你爸… How can you...
我不跟你爭！ Stop it!
我過去鞠個躬，不要生氣嘛！ I'll bow, OK? Don't get angry!
誠心一點 Be sincere!
好啦！ OK.
這樣才乖嘛！ That's it!
今天晚上，老爸燒了你最愛吃的鮑魚給你吃 I've cooked your favorite, abalone!
老爸，Julian約我出去 Dad, I've a date with Julian
就是那個大騙子？ That liar!
老爸，吃個飯聽聽音樂，這是很正常的 It's common to have a date, no big deal.
還很平常哩！ It's really a big deal!
你媽當年也是跟我吃了潮州菜 Your mom, after taken to the Chiu Chow restaurant by me
聽聽潮州戲，就被我搞定了！ And listened to the Chiu Chow song, she was mine them.
那你才是大騙子哦！ Oh, you are cheated mom.
我可是負責任的！ But I'm responsible.
放心啦老爸！你女兒是有分寸的！ Don't worry! Your daughter will not easy to be cheated.
我不願意，誰也强迫不了我 If I'm not willing to, no one can force me.
我就是怕你願意 But I'm afraid that you are willing.
我去開門 I'll open the door.
讓我來 Let me open it.
嗨！伯父，不好意思啊！ Hi, Uncle, sorry!
叫什麽名字 What's your name?
我叫朱高正，叫我Julian就可以了 Chu Ko Ching, you can call me Julian.
什麽時候生的 What's your birthday?
1957年3月4號 March 4, 1957.
時辰呢？ Time?
上午八點 8 am.
可以啦！ Come in!
老爸，這有發什麽神經？ Dad, what are you doing?
你沒事吧？ Are you OK?
沒事！這花送給你的，好不好看？ Fine, this is for you.
好看！謝謝你 It's beautiful! Thank you.
我去拿皮包 I'll fetch my hand bag.
好… OK.
女兒，聽你老爸的話 Daughter, listen to me.
不要跟這種人出去 Don't go with him.
我會早點回來的！ I'll be back soon.
女兒，你是十靈時的女孩，很旺夫的 You are born at spiritual hour, you'll benefit your lover.
便宜了這家夥，他隨時會當上院長的！ If you marry him, he'll be damn rich.
說的沒錯，我以前的兩個男朋友 You are right, my ex-boyfriends.
一個做了副總裁，一個公司股票就要上市 One becomes vice-president, one owns a big company.
真的很旺夫！ I'm benefitial to my worse-half.
是呀！ Yes!
女兒！ Daughter!
你跟你老爸說什麽？ What did you talk with your dad?
他說我是十靈時出生的，會旺夫益子啊 He said I was born at spiritual hour, I'll benefit my boyfriend.
你追不追呀？ Are you courting me?
追！當然追！我們走吧！ Sure, I will, let's go!
伯父，拜拜 Uncle, bye!
豈有此理！想打我女兒注意？ Damn! You dare to court my girl.
還好我記下你生辰八字了 I'm wise to keep your date of birth.
等著瞧吧你！ You'll wait and see.
你不會喝便別喝那麽多酒啊！ Don't drink too much if you are not keen in drinking.
跟你在一塊我高興啊！ Cause I'm happytogether with you.
是不是這一家？ Isn't it your house?
是！ Yes.
聲音是這樣的！裏面好像沒人 It seems to be empty!
傭人放假去了！ My maid is on vacation today.
怎麽醉成這個樣子！ You are drunk.
我頭好暈呀！ I feel dizzy!
你休息吧，我先走了！ Have a rest, I'm leaving.
我要你扶我到沙發！ Please take me to the sofa.
你小心點！ Be careful!
我走了！ I'm leaving.
我想喝杯水 I want a cup of water.
真煩！ It's noisy!
來，喝水 Come, have the water.
對不起，我幫你擦幹淨 Sorry, I'll clean it for you.
你不要鬧，我自己來，我自己來可以了！ Stop it! I'll do it myself.
洗手間在那邊！ Washroom is over there!
脫！快脫！快脫光！ Undress! Hurry up!
我老朱今天晚上要是吃不到你 If I can't make love with you.
我就不叫無敵泡妞王！ I'll never call myself invincible Romeo!
豈有此理！你這色鬼竟想上我女兒？ Damn! How you dare to court my girl.
一股臭味！洗個澡好了 It's stink! I'd have a bath!
遮眼！ Your eyes closed!
看不到了！爲什麽會這樣呢？ Why can't I see?
還好！ I'm lucky!
真是爽死人！ It's really great!
你這個短命種！ You bastard!
讓我先放點催情氣給你問一下 Let me treat you some lustful gas.
看你還不發情？ You'll sure fall in love with me!
這下你跑不掉了吧？ You can't go this time!
先擦好神油，等著享受吧！ I'll make enjoy baby!
縮…陰盛陽衰！ Change to be a female!
急急如律令！ Now!
今天不會很冷呀！ Isn't cold today?
怎麽找不到呢？ Why can't I find my dick?
不見了？ It's gone!
怎麽會… Why...
怎麽多了一條縫？ But I've got an additional organ?
慘了！ My god!
我怎麽… Why I...
怎麽連聲音都變了女人？ My voice changed too!
Julian！ Julian！ Julian! Julian!
叫我？ Are you calling me?
你在幹什麽？ What are you doing?
我在找我的小弟弟 I'm finding for my dick.
我們兄弟倆失散了！ We lost each other!
我要你來陪我 I want you to accompany me!
來呀！ Come on!
我正在找呀 I'm finding for my dick!
摔你個半死，讓你享受一下 I'll teach you good lesson, boy!
你做什麽？幹嘛這麽心急？ What are you doing?
你怎麽啦？ How are you?
鬼打後腦勺！ Confess now!
你有自虐狂？ You love self torture!
我不只有自虐狂，我還有偷窺狂 Also, I love peeping!
自戀狂，戀父狂，我8歲偷看人家洗澡 I love my dad madly!
10歲非禮老太婆，12歲就嫖妓 I indecent assaulted an old woman at 10, hooked at 12
13歲生花柳，我喜歡穿女人內褲 I got sex disease at 13, I love wearing ladies' underwear
我又喜歡吃蛋撻，我每上一個馬子 I love cunnilingus, every girl I court.
我就拔她一根毛，用來打毛衣 I'll get one of her hair for sweater.
就是這一件毛衣了 See, this is made by hair.
我在說什麽？ What am I saying?
你… You...
女兒，快醒醒 Wake up!
我在說什麽？ What am I saying?
我帶你去看看我的寶貝 I'll show you my baby.
阿婷！ Ting!
阿婷… Ting!
你不要走嘛！ Don't go!
今天晚上又辛苦你了 I've rely on you tonight.
這種人活該 He deserves it.
先讓你做半個月的女人，再幫你解咒 I'll let you be women for 2 weeks.
爲什麽我的心跟眼皮都跳的這麽厲害？ Why I feel bad luck?
左眼跳財，右眼跳災 I feel something wrong!
難道會有什麽不對？ Or, are there any omen?
7號機Call小胖，我在第8區 Fatty, I'm in zone 8.
這裏有個貨櫃突然破了個大洞 I've seen a broken container.
不知道爲什麽原因請你過來看一下 Come & have look with me please!
小胖，餵… Fatty, hello.
小姐，你怎麽了，你怎麽會在這裏？ Miss, why are you here?
我被幾個壞人挾持到這 I was kidnapped by some bad guys.
他們想要强奸我 They wanted to rape me.
你沒事吧？ Are you alright?
有啊！他們幾個毆打我的胸部 They beated my chest.
你摸摸 Touch it!
還有淤血哩 I'm hurt.
你看看！ Look!
小寶寶，快睡覺！ Baby, go to sleep.
我兒子是六二年六月初八早上六點生的 My son was born on 8-6-62 at 6 am.
在你大陸治病兩個多月了 He's gone to China to cure his sickness.
到現在一點消息都沒有 But he hasn't informed us till then.
我幫你起個卦吧 I'll divine for you.
謝謝 Thanks.
怎麽樣啊？師傅 How is it?
照這個卦來看，他很平安 From this divine, he is safe.
那就好了 That's fine.
他回大陸治病應該會治得好 He'll be OK and will be cured.
謝謝你師父 Thank you.
慢慢走啊 Good bye.
謝謝 Thanks.
有沒有人啊？ Any body here?
道士算不算是人呀？ Is taoist a human?
當然算！ Sure!
先生，請問你有什麽指教？ What can I do for you?
我想查一個人的下落 I want find one person.
他跟你一樣，是個道士 He is a taoist too.
他叫什麽名字？我幫你起個卦 What's his name, I'll divine for you.
不是用銅錢起卦的嗎？ You'd use coins.
是… Yes...
道道道 Tao Tao Tao...
再來又是道道道 Again, tao...
道道道… ...
這回可是亂糟糟了！ It's totally shit!
道士的名字我還沒說 I haven't told you the taoist's name!
是，你請說 Please go ahead.
他叫林正 He is called Lam Ching.
林正… Lam Ching...
我來幫你查一下 I'll check it!
有這麽先進的東西爲什麽要藏起來？ Why you hide such high tech thing from me.
形象問題，是形象問題嘛 It's the matter of image!
想跑 You wanna go?
林正在哪裏？ Where is Lam?
妖孽！你跟他有什麽冤仇？ Monter! What is the feud between you?
血海深仇！我們變得人不像人鬼不像鬼 He made me suffer from what I'm now.
都是拜他所賜 I'm not human nor ghost!
今天你就算不告訴我 Even you don't tell me.
我一樣有辦法知道 I've my way to find them.
我說 I'll tell you.
快說 Be quick!
林正他是我師弟 He is my junior.
他就住在秀竹園道50號 He lives in Sau Chu Yuen Rd. no. 50.
老爸，我出去了 Dad, I am going out.
該不是又跟那個姓朱的吧？ Are you going with that Chu?
早就把他給甩了！他是個大色郎 I brushed him off!He is a wolf!
對不對？你老爸一雙慧眼不會看錯人 I won't frame anyone, see!
我老爸，當然有兩下子啦！ Sure, you are great!
老爸，我泡了你最喜歡的鐵觀音 I've made your favirite tea for you.
沒事拍馬屁，一定有所求了 Apple polishing! You must have some request.
你想幹什麽？ What do yo want?
我想… I...
我想要你去看看媽 I want you to see mom.
什麽事都可以，就這件事不行！ No way!
我這不懂你們兩個幹嘛這麽倔强 I don't know you two! Stubborn eggs!
又不是有第三者，又不是有十冤九仇 Are you enemies?
幹嘛要一個住沙田，一個住香港 Why do you have to separate?
兩個人不理不睬的？ And never talk to each other.
我們是因爲天… Beacuse...
天地之間的問題辯不過而分開的 We seperated because of argument.
只要一天沒有結果，永遠不會複合 When there is no result, we'll never get together.
老爸，過兩天是你們的結婚紀念日 Dad, 2days later is your anniversary.
不如你跟我… Why don't you...
你這種十靈時出生的人 You, girls born on spiritual hour.
口水很寶貴的！不要浪費了 You'd save your saliva!
老爸你不要這麽說 Don't talk about that!
口水只是普通的分泌物，有什麽特別的？ Saliva is nothing speciall!
告訴你，十靈時出生的男女 I tell you.
他們的口水可以服妖降魔 The one born at spiritual hour, their saliva can expel evils.
吐一口出來，連鬼都害怕 Your saliva scares any devil!
好惡心！我出去了！拜拜 It's disgusting! I'm leaving!
記住了，不要再約那個什麽姓朱的了 Remember!Don't date with that Chu!
聽到了沒有？ Listened!
知道了！老爸！ I've got it!
這小迷糊蛋！留下一大堆東西！ Absent minded girl!
還好，還記得回來拿 Luckily, you remember your stuff!
開門！快點開門！ Open the door! Hurry up!
你怎麽了？ How are you?
先把門關上！ Shut the door first!
你沒事吧？ Are you OK?
師弟，大禍臨頭呀！ Ching! Big Trouble!
你在泰國收服的那兩個雌雄大盜 The notorious thieves you've caught in Thailand.
乃密跟金莎，已經被降頭師練成了[陰陽屍] They become Terrific Vampire now.
現在來到香港，要找你報仇！ And come to HK to take their revenge!
[陰陽屍]？ Terrific Vampire!
是啊！他們追到道術協會 TYes, they came to Taoist's Association.
我千方百計才逃出來的 I've tried my best to escape!
既然這樣，我現在去祖師爺前面起個卦 So, I'll divine in front of our master.
你怎麽知道我不是老道士？ How do you know I'm not taoist?
第一，他從來不叫我師弟 1st, he never mention my name.
而是叫我阿正！第二， And secondly,
他跟我很少來往，根本不知道我去過泰國 He is not so close to me, he doesn't know my visit to Thailand.
第三，他以前修道不用功，功力低微 3rd, he is a poor taoist.
如果遇到厲害的妖物 If facing a great enemy.
他根本逃不掉 He can never escape.
聰明！ Smart ass!
林正你雖然這麽聰明 Although you are clever.
但是你今天還是跑不掉！ You can never escape!
哼！中國道法的法術，對我們一點用也沒有 Chinese taoist can do nothing to me.
就算你們的神，對我們也完全沒有約束力 Even your Gods, will do nothing to me.
無形劍法賜中宮 See my sword!
純陽真氣往指衝！ Sword energy from my finger!
洞賓伏妖顯神通 God Lui will show his force.
怎麽回事啊？ What's wrong!
阿婷！ Ting!
老爸！ Dad!
快走呀！ Go!
老爸，怎麽回事啊？ Dad, what's wrong!
吐口水！ Spit!
爲什麽？ Why?
快點吐口水！ Spit!
到底什麽事啊！ What happened?
快點吐口水！快吐呀！ Spit! Hurry up!
走！ Go!
十靈時出生的女人！ A girl born at spiritual hour！
她是十靈時出生的女人！ She is born at spiritual hour！
不管她逃到哪兒，都要找到她 We'd get her within 3 days.
三天之內，吃了她的腦汁 After eating her brain.
那我們就是魔中之魔了 We'll become the king of evil spirits!
你帶我來警察局幹什麽？ Why do you take me to police station?
發生了這種事情，當然要報案啦！ Sure we'd report to police!
我們現在的仇家不是黑社會 Our enemy isn't triads!
是妖怪呀！你懂不懂？ It's monster! understand?
那你等一下跟警官說你遇到妖怪了 So tell the police the truth!
人家會說你有問題 They will say you insane!
哪位叫林小婷？ Whos is Lam Siu Ting?
有沒有叫林小婷的？ Any Lam Siu Ting?
不可能是他吧？ Impossible!
有沒有叫林小婷的？ Any Lam Siu Ting?
醫生，是你呀？ It's you, doctor!
真是沒想到醫生你也會出麻煩了 I can't imagine doctor'll report police.
有什麽不對勁呢？ What's wrong with you?
我就是林小婷 I'm Lam Siu Ting.
你在家裏被人家襲擊呀？ You are being attacked?
不用問了，一定是尋仇 It must be a revenge
你怎麽知道？ How do you know?
像你這麽雞婆，一定是仇人滿天下 You are so cocky, so you must have many enemies.
臭小子，別那麽神氣！ Bastard! Don't be so proud!
我看你青筋浮現，印堂發暗 Look at you! I can tell you bad luck.
做到死都是兩手空呀！ You'll be poor all over this life.
張牙舞爪，目露凶光，早晚被剝光！ You'll never have good luck!
你男朋友？ Your boyfriend?
一樣有夠雞婆！ Same cocky as you.
這位是我爸爸，你再侮辱他我告你！ He is my dad, I'll sue you if you insult him.
兩父女呀！ You are his daughter!
難怪兩個一個德行！ That' why you are the same.
伯父，你不要耍寶啦！ Uncle, don't play tricks!
是你椅子自己走開的！ Your seat walks itself!
明明是你用腳踢，還說椅子自己走開？ You kicked it!
如果椅子會從這走到那邊去的話 If it walks from here to that end.
那你怎麽說？ What will you say?
好！我就把關二爺前面的香全部吃光 I'll eat all the incense in front of the God.
這是你說的！ You promise it!
我看，你有好幾天不用吃飯了 I think you needn't eat for few days.
臭小子！ Bastard!
關二爺是我們尊敬的神 We respect te God.
我怎麽會跟他搶飯吃呢？ How can I take his food?
不要說那麽多了，我們的帳慢慢算 Cut the crap! Let's settle our affair later.
坐下！ Sit down!
什麽名字？ Name?
林正 Lam Ching.
住哪裏？ Where do you live?
整個香港 All of Hong Kong
好了好了，你們問這挺老套！ Stop it! Stop these nonsense question.
現在我家裏有個怪人 I've got a monster at home.
你不去查查看，還在這裏跟我爸爸怄氣 Why don't go & check?
你是不是幹警察的？ Are you police?
什麽怪人？ What monter?
穿著皮衣皮褲的怪人 A monster wearing leather suits.
你跟他說沒用的，女兒 It's useless to tell him this.
那是個妖怪 That's monster!
他去查看就會被那油炸鬼吃掉！ If he go & investigate, he'll be eaten.
妖怪！ Monster?
你想嚇唬人也用黑社會的字號 If you want to scare me use triad language.
用妖怪的字號在這裏是沒用的 Monster will do nothing here.
看到沒有？這裏是關二爺罩的 See, God protects us.
我告訴你，這是泰國妖怪 I tell you, it's monster from Thailand.
而泰國的降頭術是由印度傳入的 The sorcery of Thailand is imported from India.
跟我們的神佛世界不一樣 Their believes are different from us.
關二爺跟他是河水不犯井水 Our God has no relation with them.
收服不了他的！ He can do nothing to it.
故事說得很好聽！爲什麽不上電視？ Why don't you tell stories in TV?
長官，你到底派不派人到我家看看？ Are you sending people to my home?
好！你帶我去！如果發現你報假案 OK. I'll go with you, if I find out it's a mischief.
你的麻煩可大了！ You'll be in deep shit!
可以！ OK!
女兒，你不能去，要去叫他們自己去 Daughter, you can't go! Just ask them go!
老爸，交給警方處理吧 Dad, let's hand it to the police.
聰明！胖九，跟我一塊走 Smartie, Fatty, come with me.
請吧！ Please.
不准帶我女兒去！ Don't take my daughter away!
你想襲警呀？ Do ou want to assault police officer?
放手！ Hands off!
別動！ Don't move!
長官，你不要亂來啊！ Officer, don't get mad!
好！ OK.
老伯，不知道我這把洋槍 Do you know my gun?
可不可以收服你家的妖怪？！ Can kill the monster you mentioned?
不可以 No!
你有問題啊？ Are you idiot?
我現在控告你襲警，還有妨礙公務 I'm sueing you assault of PC.
兄弟，扣留他二十四小時，帶他去 Buddy, detain him for 24 hous.
快走！ Hurry up!
女兒！千萬不要回去呀！ Daughter! Don't go back!
那個[陰陽屍]很厲害的！ The Terrific Vampire is really powerful!
少羅嗦！ Shut up!
不要推我，我會走 Don't push me, I can go myself.
走吧，帶我去你家 Go! Take me to your home.
一個人也沒有 None o person here.
可能都走掉了 Maybe it's gone.
你不要騙我 Don't cheat me.
那邊有個房間 There is a room over there.
過去看看 Go & have a look.
對不起，對不起! Sorry...
你是不是耍我？ Are you fooling me?
房間裏頭有個女人 There is a woman inside.
不可能，這屋子裏只有我一個女的 Impossibl! I'm the only woman in this house.
我去看看 I'll go & have a look.
人呢？ Where is it?
剛才明明在這裏梳頭的 I saw her combing hair here.
在這裏梳頭？！ Combing here?
是啊！就坐在這裏！ She must sat here.
你是不是眼花？ Are you sure?
不可能啊！ Impossible!
他沒有眼花 He is right.
胖九！胖九… Fatty...
出來… Come out!
天堂有路你不走，地獄無門闖進來 How dare you enter the gate to hell
小丫頭，你算是自投羅網了 Baby, you just make a deed set at yourself.
你是誰？ Who are you?
不要過來，站定，我是CID Don't come over! I'm cop!
你不認識我呐？ Don't you know me?
這個呢？ Who is this?
就是他！他就是剛才那個人 That's him! He is the one we just see.
真的…真的有妖怪啊！ Monster! It's true.
不要過來 Don't come over!
小夥子，你也算有靈氣 You are gifted!
來姐姐這邊，讓姐姐親你一下 Come here, let me kiss you boy.
死花癡！見了男兒就要吃 You bitch! You want to eat man!
你…你們兩個不要過來！站住啊！ Don't come near! Freeze!
我的槍不長眼睛的！ I'll shoot!
你不要暈，你要保護我 Don't faint, you've to protect me.
那誰來保護我？！ Then who'll protect me?
剛才是哪個王八蛋提議上來的？ Who suggested to come?
是你呀！ It's you.
這下我們兩個死定了 We'll be in deep shit!
不要過來… Don't come over!
走啦… Go!
長官，那個CID大B回來了沒有？ Has the CID, Bee come back?
你蹲在這裏，我也蹲在這裏 I'm staying with you!
你以爲我有特異功能，我怎會知道外面的事 Don't you think I've supernatural power
你可以出去看一看嘛！ You can gou & check!
我領的是女皇的薪水，又不是你的 I'm paid by the Queen! Not you.
這次叫我去看看 You ask me to check now
搞不好下次叫我幫你叫個女人 May be you'll ask for a woman next!
神經病！ Idiot!
豈有此理，這麽跩！ Damn it!
讓我用張狂笑符來伺候你 I'll teach you a lesson with this laughing charm.
待會你一踩到，就會讓你笑個半死！ Once you step on it, you can't stop laughing.
長官，床下面有條蛇！ Sir, there is a snake under the bed.
你快過來看看 Please come & have a look!
長官，床下面有蛇！快過來看看 Hurry up!
哪裏有蛇？ Where is it?
在我褲裆裏面 It enters my trousers!
老頭，你不要唧唧歪歪！ Old man, don't play tricks.
不然我多加你一條妨礙公務罪！ Or I'll sue you obstructing police work.
怎麽會沒踩到呢？ He'd have stepped on it.
女兒也不知道怎麽樣啦？ My daughter makes me worry!
長官… Sir!
怎麽？！你說他家裏有妖怪？ What? You said there is monster i his home?
是啊！ Yes.
是啊！還一個半男半女忽男忽女的妖怪！ It's a bisexual monster!
是妖怪還是同性戀？ Bisexual or monster?
不是呀！是真的！ No! I mean it!
是一個會把拿東西伸出來的妖怪呀 I t can be male or female!
你跟我都會把東西伸出來的 Are you kidding?
長官，你要相信我 Please trust me!
你知道我大B是從來不說謊話的！ You know I never lie!
你不說謊話那才奇怪呐！ You are lying now.
你經常找借口偷懶！ You always find excuse to avoid from duty.
這一回又想拿醫生證明來請假 You take the doctor's testimonial for sick leave again.
只上班半個月！ You just have duty for half month only.
小姐，你是他的女人嗎？ Miss, are you his woman?
長官，你說話放尊重點！ Please mind your tongue.
我是林小婷醫師 I'm doctor Lam Siu Ting!
我可以告你毀謗我！ I'll sue you of insulting!
對不起，我只是不相信這無的事而已 Sorry! But I just won't believe in such ridiculous story!
Dic…Dic…，幹你個Dic（的）啦！ Damn you!
長官，那個妖怪真的好恐怖呀！ The monster is really horrible!
你幹我？你想不相信我調你的職？！ Don't you think I'll transmit you to another team?
長官，請你馬上調飝虎隊過去吧！ Please ask the SDU to kill it!
我怕那個妖怪會害死很多人呀！ I'm afraid it'll kill more & more people.
還有，我們也不安全呀！ Also, we're not safe.
你在警察局，你怕什麽？ What are you scaring? You are in police station.
難道他還敢殺進來嗎？ Don't you think it'll attack us here?
什麽事啊？ What's the matter?
我找一個十靈時出生的女孩子 I'm finding a girl who is born at spiritual hour.
失蹤少女？ A missing girl?
我找這個人！ I'm looking fir this one.
是撿到的？ Isn't it picked up by you?
你找死？！ Do you want to die?
有槍聲！ There is gun shoot!
長官，放我出去，放我出去，有妖怪來啦 Let me out,the monster is here.
你這王八蛋！不要走呀！ You bastard! Don't go!
那個女人在裏面，快去找她！ The woman is inside, go & find her.
什麽事？ What's going on?
妖怪！妖怪殺進來了 The monster's come.
有妖怪？！ Monster?
他不怕子彈的！ It scares no bullets!
長官，你沒聽到嗎？！那妖怪不怕子彈的 Listened! It scares no bullets!
讓開！你到我去 Get lost! Take me out!
那我們怎麽辦？ What'll we do?
你先走吧 You'd better leave first.
不行那我爸爸呢？ No! How about my dad?
你放他出來呀！ Let him out!
我怎麽可以放他呐？！ How can I do that?
不行呀！他找不到我就會找我老爸的啦 If it can't find me, it'll go to my dad.
糟！ Shit!
住手！ Stop that!
十靈時你出生的女孩子在哪裏？ Where is that girl?
不要過來！ Don't come over!
你不說我們照樣會知道！ I'll know it if you don't tell.
走呀！ Go!
在他辦公室！ In his office!
老爸… Dad!
你來啦？ You are here?
笑什麽？ What are you laughing?
我不知道！ I don't know.
鑰匙給我，快放我爸爸 Give me the keys. Let go of my dad.
我不知道爲什麽那麽好笑！哈… Why do I laugh so happily?
你幹什麽？ What are you doing?
我不知道！哈… I don't know.
我快被你氣死了！ I'm driven mad by you!
女兒，妖怪來了 Daughter, the monster is coming.
你不要管我，你快走 Go! Don't care about me!
不行老爸！我不能扔下你 I can't leave you alone!
你在這裏會連累我的！ You'll drag us down if you are here.
你放心，我會對付他的！ Don't worry! I'll handle it.
你快走吧！ Leave now!
我不知道爲什麽那麽好笑！哈… Why do I laugh so happily?
你中了狂笑符！ You've stepped on the laughing charm.
拿三只母蟑螂，三只公蟑螂加上自己一杯尿 Have 3 male & female cockroaches, plus a cup of your urine
喝下去就沒事了！ Drink it, it'll be fine.
這下真糗大啦！ Shit!
女兒，你快帶他走呀！快走！ Dauhghter, take hie away, quick!
快走啦！ Hurry up!
爸爸，你小心呀！ You'd be careful!
你放心，我沒事的！快走！ I'll be fine! Go!
憋著呀！再笑會死人呀！ Hold it, or we'll be dead!
我憋不著！ I can't control myself!
憋不住是不是？ Can't you?
現在憋住了！ Now, it's alright!
可是沒用了！ But it's useless!
不要過來… Don't come over!
不要過來，我又關二爺罩呀！ I am protected by God!
怕啦？！怕啦就快滾了！ Scared? The, get lost!
我們有關二爺罩呀！不用怕啦！ We are protected by God, what we scared?
吐他！吐他！ Spit!
他怕你呀！ He scares you!
他怕我的口水！ He scares my saliva!
那你快吐他！吐他呀！ So, spit!
我嘴巴好幹，沒有了！ I have got no secretion!
那怎麽辦？ What we do?
我不知道！ I don't know!
好，我給你！ OK, I'll give you.
厲害！ Great!
我又沒笑，你幹嘛抓我這裏！ Why you take me here?
臭道士！ Damn you taoist!
你想怎麽樣？ What do you want?
你女兒在哪裏？ Where is your daughter?
回美國去了！ She's gone back to U.S.A.
我知道你不會說，但是我有辦法！ I've my way to know it.
你想咬手指？！ You want to bite fingers?
我來幫你咬！ I'll help you.
不用客氣！大家沒那麽熟！ We're not so close! Thank you!
他們跑了！ They've gone!
他們去了哪裏？ Where have they gone?
不知道！ Don't know!
我有辦法知道！哈… I've got my way to know it.
司機，下車 Driver, top here.
下流！ Asshole!
你摸我還說我下流？！ Why do you ask me asshole?
你不下流怎麽翹起來呀？！ If you aren't, why is yours erected?
我們湊錢給你們開房間 Should we give you money for motel?
管你們屁事呀？！我沒錢嗎？ None of your business! I've money!
停車！ Stop!
你生氣啦？ Are you angry?
才沒空跟你生氣呐！ I've no time to angry with you.
到啦！ We've arrived!
你媽到底住哪裏？ Where does your mim live?
這麽大地方怎麽著？ It's so big?
哥哥，你露營呀？ Are you camping?
露什麽營？ What?
你不露營幹嘛設這麽大個帳篷呀？ If not camping, why do you et such a big camp?
到了沒有？ Are we arrived?
幹什麽？ What's it?
有血漬！ Blood!
難道… Should it...
快走呀！ Let's go!
那個是我媽，我怎麽也要進去看看 She is my mom, I've take a look.
你想送死嗎？ Do you want to be killed?
你不要管我！ Forget about me!
到處都是血！ Blood everywhere!
你這個死瘟雞！到處跑，弄得滿屋子都是血 Damn you hen! Yo make my home bloody.
去你媽的小雜種！ Damn you!
這下看你往哪跑？！ See where are you going!
媽 Mom
女兒，怎麽會是你來？ Why you are here?
伯母 Auntie!
好…好 Fine!
伯母，你流口水啦. Auntie, your saliva...
正常的！ It's normal!
正常？！ Normal!
這個是我未來女婿呀？ Because I've met my son-in-low would be.
她？！別做夢啦！ She?! Stop dreaming!
那帶他回來幹什麽？ So why do you take him here?
我們被妖怪追 We are chased by monster!
對，妖怪！ Yes, monster!
你先別說！ Stop!
來 Come!
走！ Go!
這個[陰陽屍]果然厲害！說都不能說的 This Terrific Vampire is really powerful!
伯母，究竟這兩個之人是什麽東西？ What is it for?
是我的線民！專門幹包打聽！ They are my informer!
這死老頭被妖怪抓走了！ The old bluffer is caught by the monster.
那老爸有沒有危險？ Will he be in danger?
還好這老頭子肯做縮頭烏龜！ He's willing to be coward!
暫時他還可以自保 So he is safe now.
不過這個妖怪他的要輸神通 But the vampire is really powerful.
很快就會找到這個地方來了 It'll soon find this place.
別客氣，那我先走了 Well, I'd better go!
那個妖怪見過你，你走到天涯海角 The monster's seen you, whereever you go.
他都會找到你 It can find you.
媽，難道你也沒有辦法？ Do you have any idea?
是啊！ Yeah!
沒辦法就是沒辦法呐！ No!
你老媽這幾十年，只會練一些… Yourmom's just practiced something...
不行搞到行，不硬搞到硬，肥婆變瘦婆 Positive to negative, negative to positive.
小奶變大奶 Small to big & fat thin socery.
我只練這些法術 Which can do nothig to the monster.
抓妖怪？！我不是很內行 To arrest it, I can't help.
這種玩意找整容醫生就可以啦 To make it big, you can go to plastic surgery clinic.
幹嘛還找你呀？！ Why should the client go to you?
少廢話，我去找一下書 Cut the crap, I'll look into the reference book.
有了！ I've got it!
怎麽樣？ How is it?
女兒，你是十靈時出生的女孩子 You are born at spiritual hour.
只要找一個也是十靈時出生的處男跟你交合 You'd find a virgin who's born at spiritual hour to
就可以克制那個[陰陽屍]了 To get intercourse, then you can defeat the monster.
一定要處男？！ Virgin?!
當然是要處男才行 Sure!
不是老媽要說你 I don't mean to criticize you.
我看你的眉毛稀稀，屁股松松的 See, your eyebroe is loose, fat bottom.
恐怕你也靠不住咯 I think you aren't virgin.
伯母，你知道嗎，這個年頭想找個處女真難 Auntie, it;s hard to find a virgin these years.
找個恐龍恐怕還有一點小小的希望 There ay be hope to find a dragon.
你說什麽？ What did you say?
本來啊！ Isn't correct?
別吵了！所以要找個處男 Shut up! So to find a virgin.
且一定要十靈時出生的 Who is born at spiritual hour.
到哪兒找呀？ Where to get him?
有了！你找鐵板神算董得多就行啦 Go to the famous fortunr teller Mr. Tung.
他每天跟好幾個人算命 He tells fortune everyday.
有很多八字可以讓我們選呀！ Maybe, he can give us some reference.
一字記之曰[近] Remember the word "nearby".
近？！什麽叫近？！ What's that mean?
這個十靈時的男孩子離我們很近 Our target is near us.
就算近也不知道是誰呀！ But we don't know his name.
這個糟老頭也已經看過了 That old bluffer' checked it already.
一字記之曰[整]呀！ Remember the word "Fool".
怎麽說？ What's it?
整人的整呀！ Fool! Fooling people, got it?
收我五千塊錢，沒有一句是對的 He charged me $5000, but nothing is correct.
老頭，你認不認得我？ Do you remember me?
記得，很少人會像你這麽摳門 Sure, no one knocks the like you.
算命還要分期付款的 And pay in terms of installment.
你說什麽？你敢挖苦我？！ How can you tease me?
給哦閉嘴 Shut up!
大師，那你算過這麽多命，有沒有記錄？ Do you have any record of your fortunr telling?
有 Yes.
這麽多書！ So many books.
大師，這麽查法要查到什麽時候？ When will you get the answer like this?
要快點是不是？ Hurry up!
行 Sure!
有電腦！幹嘛不早說？ Computer! Why don't you use it earlier?
不要亂動，很名貴的 Don't touch! It's expensive.
十靈時… Spiritual hour...
我？！ I...
是呀！不行嗎？ Yes!
你過來 Come over here!
你是不是處男？ Are you virgin?
伯母，這個問題設計到個人隱私的！ This is my secret.
不說？！ Don't you tell me?
我有權不回答你的問題 I've my right not to tell you.
說不說？！ Tell or not?
你們母女兩個怎麽都一樣的 You are the same as your daughter.
喜歡抓人家這裏！ You love to grab my dick!
你怎麽會找不到？ Why can't I find it?
發情大法！可以用！ The methid of Flower-love.
發情大法，所需要用的材料有 Te material needed includes...
賣剩的甘蔗 Sugar cane.
籮低的柳丁 Orange.
檐前的滴水 Rain water.
和尚的頭發 Monk's hair.
還有更少不了的是，大蛇拉的尿 And urine of snake.
最後就是用肥婆的眼屎兩粒，鼻屎做引 And eye secrete and nose secrete of a fat woman.
七碗熬八分滿 Cook a long time...
聖女貞德也變花癡！ A pure virgin will be tempted.
如果這樣不發情的話 If you won't be tempted.
我就切了 I'll chop my dick out.
我看報警吧！ Why not call the police?
難道我不是警察？！報警！ Am I a police?
上一次警察局已死了很多兄弟 Many of our buddies were killed!
就算叫飝虎隊來一樣是送死！ Even the SDU comes, they'll be dead!
你們兩個還吵？！吵…吵什麽？ Shut up!
叫你們兩個去做一做，那不是什麽事都沒了嗎？ Why don't you just make love, that's fine.
太便宜他 I didn't want to give him advantage.
我這個十靈時的處男，你以爲容易找嗎？ It's not easy to find a virgin born at spiritual hour.
比你不知道珍貴了多少倍！ I'm much more valuable than you.
你變態！是同性戀呀！ You are abnormal! Gay!
你說我張國强是同性戀？！ You mean I'm gay?
有張國兩個字就蠻接近了 I think so!
怎麽樣？怎麽樣呀？ What's it?
不服氣？！你的小屁股有我的又圓又翹嗎？ Is your ass more cute than mine?
神經病！ Idiot!
女兒，不要理他這種人！ Forget this guy!
先喝碗湯降降火氣 Let's drink some soup first.
我不想喝！我哪有心情喝啊！ I've no mood to drink it.
乖，媽花了很多功夫熬的 But I've wasted lot of time making it.
媽媽餵你 I'll feed you.
多喝一點… Come on!
媽！ Mom!
你真好！ You are nice!
强哥！ Brother Keung.
你要做什麽？ What do you want?
你不要亂來！ Don't get mad.
來呀…過來呀！ Come on!
千萬不要露營呀… No camping!
念經！空即是色，色即是空… Oh my god!
强哥，哪裏空呀？ Brother Keung, what are you doing?
一點也不空呀！ Are you hot?
我！…空即是色，色即是空… Oh my god!
慘了！搭成整個軍營了 My god!
我快頂不住了！ I can hardly control myself.
拜托你不要再過來了 Please don't come over!
我怎麽過得來呢？！ How can I get over here?
你已頂住我了！ You've blocked my way!
天啊！天要亡我了！ Oh, my god!
好！今天我看是難逃你的魔掌了 I think I'd be captured!
來吧 Come on!
我先來 T'll come first!
嚇死人啦！ You scare me!
我來了！ I'm coming!
真是降火！ It's really comfortable!
馬上消了！謝了！ The fire is over, thank you.
小子，你往哪裏去？！ Bastard! Where are you gong?!
不如我們先聊一下 Why not have a chat first?
我跟你沒什麽好聊的，大嬸！ We've nothing to chat!
你沒有？！我有！ But I have!
你不要吵了！人家最喜歡地遮天的！ Shut up! I love doing on the man.
我跟我那個死鬼吵架翻臉分手 We have been broken up!
就是因爲他不肯給我地蓋天，一定要天蓋地 Because he goed against me.
這下便宜你了 So, I'll benefit you then.
不要吵了！ Shut up!
難怪老爸說你們是因爲天地之間的問題分手的 So you 2 broke up because of such affair.
她何止可以地蓋天 Still more!
簡直要蒙著黑布才能入港呀！ His behavior is weird!
我要… I want!
救命呀！…强奸呀！…非禮呀！ Help! Rape! Help!
走呀…你快走呀！ Go! You'd better go!
拜托！走呀！ Please! Go!
饒恕我饒恕我！怎麽會這樣？！ Forgive me!Why it's a mess?
你這個混小子居然敢占我便宜？！ How dare you take my advantage?
大嬸，你逼奸不成，還想惡人先告狀？！ You just want to rape me!
你老老實實跟我說，你有沒有吃過我的叉燒包 Be frank, have you...
你那個叉燒包是超太空合金做的 No, I didn't!
想要吃你的，還咬不動的！ Because It's too hard for me to try it.
我還差點失身呀！ I've almost lost my virgin.
又來了？ Come again?
老媽，發生什麽事？ What happened?
妖怪跟你爸爸已經來了 The monster's come with your dad.
不用抵抗！ Don't resist!
這只手可以隨時拿到你腦袋裏的思想和記憶 I can easily get your memory & your thoughts.
比進超級市場還容易 It's too easy for me.
老道士，原來你也有這麽多風流史呀？！ Taoist! You are quiet a wolf!
蠻好色的嘛！ You love courting!
不如把手放進我的褲裆裏！ Why don't you put your hand in my trousers.
你喜歡嗎？ Love it?
不…不要開玩笑！ No kidding!
應該已經到了！ It'd have arrived!
你輕一點行不行？ Softer, please.
你不要胡思亂想來幹擾我！ Don't diturb me! Be oncentrate!
我想想我泡馬子的事行不行？！ I just think about my girlfriends.
月上柳梢頭，人約黃昏後… I've a date...
快走！ Go! Quick!
昨夜岸邊我四邊瞧，水上妹妹長得俏 I watched you on shore...
惹得我神魂又顛倒 I'm crazy about you.
我叫他阿嬌… I called her Cutie.
我看你還能唱多久？！ I'll wait you.
你有一套 You are something!
我當然有一套呀！ Sure!
起來！走！ Get up! Let's go!
我請你們兩個快點搞定 Please make love now.
不然妖怪一來我也受不了！ Or I can't resist the monster.
我怎麽也不要！ No!
大不了我走！ Well, I'm leaving!
這麽容易走嗎？ It's not so easy!
小妞，我們找你很久了！ We've been long for you.
媽，我好怕！ Mom, I'm scared!
你終于害怕啦！ You are cared eventually!
剛才怎麽求你都不肯 Why didn't you do as I begged?
現在你要做都來不及了！ Now there is no more time for you to do so.
我先到外面去撐一下 I'll go out & delay them.
媽！ Mom!
你還傻瓜的站著幹什麽？ What are you doing here?
趕快走吧 Go!
你帶我來廁所幹什麽？！ Why do you take me to toilet?
找個門出去呀！ To find a door to get out.
這道門鎖住呀！ It's locked!
鎖住了？！ Locked!
鐵窗也焊死了 The windows are sealed!
那現在怎麽辦？ What'll we do now?
有了！ I've got it.
肥婆，你想燒死我？！ Fatty, you want to burn me?
你個死老頭，帶個妖怪來找我 You bastard! You bring this monster to me?
老頭就還給你 I'll give you back!
肥婆…厲害！ Fatty! Fantastic!
你個死老頭居然想把我神壇拆了！ You want to break my holy table?
神壇火屎！ Watch me!
這樣都弄不死他！ This is harmless!
神壇火屎，不靈了吧！ Isn't it worked?
讓開！ Get away!
真行！穿著外褲也可以把內褲脫下來 How can you undress your underwear?
你學什麽的？ What did you learn?
道術呀！ Taoism!
就是咯! That is!
給我戴上！ Wear it!
媽的！我砍死你！ I'll kill you!
別衝動呀！ Be calm!
我砍，我砍，我砍… I kill...
我劈，我劈，我劈… I chop...
我砍死你！ I'll kill you!
這樣還不死？！ You don't die?
肥婆，我早說過那兩下子過時了！ I've said yours are out dated!
你閉嘴！ Shut up!
把女兒交出來就放你們一條生路 Give the girl to me, I'll let you go.
好！有本事你來抓！ OK, come if you have guts!
走！ Go!
快，快點，老頭子！ Let's go!
爸，沒事了啊？！ Are you OK?
什麽沒事，妖怪來了！ OK?! The monster is coming!
讓我來！ I'll do it!
後生可畏，我先走啦 I'd better leave first, youngster!
不要怕呀！ Don't be afraid!
那現在怎麽辦？ What'll we do now?
走啊！ Go!
王八蛋！ Bastard!
走！ Go!
幸虧那個條子跟妖怪同歸于盡 Lucky that the cop died togeter with the monster!
快走啦！ Let's go!
女兒呢？ Where is our daughter?
她剛才不是跟著來的嗎？ Is she followed?
救命呀！ Help!
老頭子，你看女兒呀！ Look! Our daughter!
女兒你怎麽樣？ How are you?
先把石頭搬開 Remove the stone first!
好痛呀… I'm hurt!
肥婆，快把女兒拖出去 Fatty, drag her out!
不要碰我 Don't touch me.
我的手和腳好像斷了一樣 My legs & hands seem to be broken.
老頭子，那怎麽樣？ What'll we do?
沒關系沒關系 It doesn't matter!
大B呢？ Where is Bee?
他在那兒! He is there!
快點去救他！ Go & save him!
他被台櫃壓住了 He is under the table.
你雖然很神勇，也不要這樣破壞呀！ Although you are brave, you'd not rui like this.
你說你斷了多少根骨頭！我一定比你還多！ I'm serious hurt!
這時候還爭什麽呀！ Stop arguing!
老爸，那妖怪呢？ Where is that monster?
幸好那個妖怪終于被消滅了 It is destroyed!
真是完滿結局啊！ That's happy ending!
慘了！ I'm in deep shit!
那….那怎麽辦？ What'll we do?
老頭子，快把他們分開呀！ Separate them?
你以爲離婚呀？說分就分！ You guess it's like divorce?
快走啦！ Let's go!
快點！ Hurry up!
你先下去！ You go down first.
走啦！ Go!
你輕一點！你是不是醫生呀？ Lighter, are you doctor?
好了沒有 OK?
好了 我去幫小婷 OK, I'll help Siu Ting.
不用了，我已經幫她弄好了 No need! We've helped.
你也行？！ Can you?
我是跌打醫生，你只不過多張文憑而已 I'm doctor too! But you have a cert, I haven't.
我來 I will do it.
請你慢一點 Slowly!
來…坐下 Please, sit down
我真不知道你們受了傷怎麽不去醫院呀？ I wonder why didn't you go to hosptital?
你用點腦子吧！ Use your brain!
那妖怪神通廣大，香港有幾間醫院呀？ The monster is powerful! How many hospital in HK.
就算躲到那間診所，也會被找到！ Even we hide in a clinic, it'll find us.
總比這個地方好！ But hospital is better!
最危險的地方就是最安全的地方 The most dangerous place is the safest place!
妖怪來過這裏，知道我們從這裏走出去 We ran out from here!
他一定想不到我們還有膽子會到這裏來 The monster'll never guess we've guts to return.
我實在搞不懂你在說什麽東西 Actually I don't know what're you saying.
警察也認爲是大陸仔做的 Cops think that it's done by Mainlanders.
醫生你就只會看病 Doctor can cure people only.
如果警方都講出來這件事是妖怪做的話 If the cops confess it's done by monster.
那全香港的市民不全都跑光了嗎？ All hongkies will leave!
你全身就只有這張嘴還能動 You can tell only?!
你給我閉嘴 Shut up!
你有本事的話，就將屁股轉過來 If you have power, turn!
看我會不會動！ To see can I move or not?
你呀，少在這裏跟我啰裏啰嗦的 Cut the crap!
有本事就把你的處男交出來 If you have guts. show us your virgin.
我實在搞不懂你在說什麽東西 Actually I don't know what're you saying.
小婷，我先走了 Siu Ting I'm leaving.
你小心點 Be careful.
這幾片柚子葉給你拿去擦擦身子 Take these leaves to clean your body.
不然你身上有十靈時的味道 Or you'll keep the smell of spiritual hour.
很容易被那個妖怪聞到的 It'll be easily traced by the monster.
是真的！ Really!
我走了，拜拜！ I'm leaving! Bye!
鬼才相信 I'll never believe.
小婷，大B，我看你們不要再堅持了 Don't be stubborn.
現在唯一破[陰陽屍]的方法 The only way to defeat the monster.
就是你們兩個交合 Is your intercourse.
交合後會怎麽樣？ What'll it be after that?
那我就不知道啦 I don't know.
不知道？！不知道還想我白白犧牲童子雞呀？！ So you want me to waste my virgin?
小子，凡是男人十個有九個的童子雞 Almost all the boy's virgin.
都拿去餵雞的 Go to the hookers!
我小婷人美身材好，這下真是便宜你了呀！ Siu Ting is so beautifu;! You're benefited!
現在我才不肯呀！你以爲你是寶嗎？！ Don't you think you are great?
我真拿你們兩個沒辦法！ I've no way persuade you!
我看我們馬上坐飝機到別的地方去 We'd better take a plane and leave HK.
那[陰陽屍]從泰國追到香港 The monster came from Thailand.
我們走，他們追！ We leave, it'll come too.
我們能躲到哪裏去呢？！ Where'll we end?
而且我們是修道之人，有降魔伏妖的責任 We are taoists, we've the responsbility to kill it.
不可以一走了之 We can't go this way!
任由那個妖怪害人 And let it kill!
那現在怎麽辦？ What'll we do then?
對呀！就算意思意思 Yes! Even it's fake.
也要培養一點感情！ Just develop some kind of mood first.
行…我弄些黃色電影給你們看 I'll show you some sex film.
你給我閉嘴 Shut up!
我拿主意，爲你們搞些氣氛 Have some atmosphere!
朱醫生，這裏這麽多人，不要這樣啊！ Doctor Chu, don't do this!
你幹什麽？ What're you doing?
你去過哪裏？ Where have you gone?
神經病！我去過哪裏關你什麽事？ Idiot! It's none of your business!
走開！ Get lost!
先生，你不能進去 Sir, you can't go in.
別這樣 Don't do that!
他的身上有十靈時的味道 He's got the smell of spiritual hour.
我有辦法 I've got an idea.
進來 Come in.
醫生… Doctor...
你有什麽事？ What's the matter with you?
我來檢查！ I want a check!
檢查？！檢查什麽？！ Check what?
乳癌呀！ Bust cancer!
乳癌？！那你找對人了 You've found the right person.
我是本港乳房科主任醫生及亞洲第一號專家 I'm the expert!
你可沒找錯人呀！ You are wise to come to me.
那我就放心了 I don't have to worry then.
醫生… Doctor...
正不正點呀？ Isn;t it nice?
正點呀！ Sure!
你甩不掉的 You can't go!
爲什麽？ Why?
你是不是跟那個林小婷見過面？ Have you met Lam Siu Ting?
沒有啊 No.
你最好老實說！ Say it!
我不知道…我不知道… I don't konw...I don't konw...
好，我就讓你跟我老婆好一次 I'll let you make love with my wife.
你跟她做過愛之後，就變成鬼奴 After mating, you'll be my slave.
永遠受我的差遣！ Serve me forever!
可以來了 You can go ahead now.
老爸，怎麽來呀？！ How?
對呀，怎麽來呀？！ Yeah, how?
你管他這麽多！ Just care nothing!
你騎上去來個地蓋天，不就把他吃掉了嘛！ Climb over him, suck in that'it.
你教什麽地蓋天呀？！ Why do you teach her this?
現在這個環境最事兒用地蓋天嘛！ This gesture suits this environment.
適合你個頭 Damn you!
我給你們布陣去，你們自己搞定！ I'll set the protection, go ahead yourself.
其實…其實我應該跟你說一聲對不起 Actually, I've to say sorry to you.
爲什麽？ Why?
我整天跟你鬥嘴，但是我是無心的 I don't mean ti quarrel with you.
因爲我怕你瞧不起我這個窮警察 I'm afraid you'll look me down.
所以我才裝作很拽的似的 So I pretend to be cocky.
沒關系！其實你也是一個有爲青年 Actually you are a nice guy.
你不要這樣說 Don't say that.
我不是那種很隨便的人 I'm not so open minded.
就算這次是爲了除魔，所以才跟你… I just do it to kill the monster.
不過你放心，我一定會負責任的 Don't worry, I'll be responsible.
你想負責任？！怎麽負呢？ For what?
跟你… To...
繼續下去呀！ Keep our relationship.
你怎麽知道我會肯呢？ How do you know I'm willing?
現在問你呀！ I'm asking you!
怎麽樣？ How is it?
來嘛！ Come on!
你想他們搞定了沒有？ Don't you think they have finished or not?
等一下不就知道了嗎？ Just wait a while.
這麽晚了，會是誰呀？ Who is coming?
伯父，是我！我是來找小婷的 It's me. I come for Ting.
你來的太晚了，已經來不及了 You're late!
回去打飝機吧！ Go home!
開門讓我進來，我有很重要的話跟你們說 I've somthing importat to tell you!
你這個色鬼，誰會給你開門呀！ You wolf! Who'll open the door? No!
她怎麽知道我是鬼呀？！ How deoes her know I'm inhuman?!
我怎麽知道！快敲門！ How do I know? Knock again.
快敲！ Go on!
這把火不把你燒成幹屍才怪！ I'll burn you, for sure!
幸好祖師爺有留下這個蓮花燈陣 Luckily our master leave me the lotus lamps position.
要不然，我們還真是收服不了他！ Or, we can't defeat it.
就是呀！ That's right!
反正都搞定了，趕快去叫女兒不要便宜那死小子 Since it's OK, ask our daughter to stop now!
走… Go...
你看 Look!
怎麽又來了？！ Why it comes again?
老頭子，怎麽辦？ Bastard, what'll we do?
我們快走吧！ Let's go!
救命呀… Help!
[陰陽屍]終于露出原形了 The Terrific Vampire shows its origin!
我們現在是天上地下 Now we become th emost powerful.
諸神諸魔無法消滅的魔體 Non defeatable monster!
你們認命吧！ It's fate!
外面動得好厲害！ It's shaking!
那你開始呀！ Go ahead, now!
你不要緊張呀！ Don't panic!
那根東西出來了 It comes out.
他們要交合了！ They are going to mate.
絕對不能讓他們交合！ We can't let them mate.
死老頭，他們要上馬了，說什麽也要撐著 They'll soon be OK! We'd stop them attacking!
掌心雷 Watch my palm!
死老頭，這樣大出血，我們有多少血可以出 How can you sacrifice like this?
撐一下算一下！讓他們有時間交合！ To give them time for mating!
還好那小子是第一次 The kid is a virgin.
送報紙的，你快點！ He'll soon be OK!
不行呀！擋住了！ No way! Hold it!
那你慢慢來 Take your time!
不如換個姿勢試試看 Why not change another position?
好痛呀！ I feel painful!
成功了！ Succeed!
不是，你弄錯地方了 No! You've gone a wrong place.
肥婆，我沒什麽血了 Fatty, I'm exhaused!
你多打一掌吧 One more please.
爲什麽？ Why?
你人胖血比較多！我太瘦了 Cause I'm thin, you'll have more blood!
給你點血 I'll give you blood!
哪來這麽多血？ Why you have so much blood?
全都是[靠得住]幫忙！ By this!
這種血好厲害！不要浪費呀！ This is powerful! Don't waste it!
怎麽樣？ How is it?
不行呀！ No way!
讓我來 I'll do it!
你又學你老媽？！ You learn from your mom!
還是我老媽對 My mom is right!
沒子彈了！ It's finished!
那怎麽辦？ What to do then?
不用怕，出最後一招！ Don't worry!
師傅賜我紅肚兜，諸魔諸神隨我收 My master gives me this whch can kill evils!
紅肚兜頂住！ Hold it!
師傅騙人的！ My master cheats me!
怎麽？！只有你一個？ Only you're left?
你們可以陰陽同體，我們一樣也可以 You can be bisexual? I can do it too.
好，看你有什麽法力 Look what'll you have to counter attack.
[陰陽屍]一分開就威力大減！ If they separate, their power will be less.
快點消滅他！ Kill him!
乃密… La Mit!
霹雳金剪刀！ Gold scissors!
靈血朱砂降魔符！ My terrific charm!
怎麽沒聲啦？ It's quiet.
終于搞定這[陰陽屍]了！ We kill it a last!
是你搞定的嗎？ You did it?
你這個死老頭 You bastard!
女兒，你吃了他的童子雞啦？ Have you taken his virgin?
那還用說！不然哪會那麽厲害 Sure! That's why we are powerful!
既然這樣，那你們兩個明天去公證結婚好了 Well, then marry tomorrow!
不是那麽老土嘛！ Don't be that old fashioned! OK!
吃了就要結婚，那他豈不是要嫁幾百次啦？ If marry after each sex, she'd have married hundred times!
你說什麽？ What did you say?
什麽話嘛？！ Go ahead!
你好毒！ You bastard!
我的思想很開放的 I've an open mind!
雖然失身給你，不過你放心 Don't worry!
我不會叫你負責的！ I won't ask you to be responsible.
那謝謝你了！ Thank you then.
要不要我打點首飾給你？！ Do you want some present?
不好意思！謝謝呀！何必破費呢？ Thank you! It's too generous of you.
霹雳金剪刀！ Gold scissors!
劇終 The End